I’m… allergic to my perfume.
Good news! With minimal precision editing, makeup, and special effects, I was able to take my first hickey from “extremely obvious” to “could possibly be mistaken for a rash,” all thanks to my father’s freaky ability to stride into Sephora with $10 and emerge with half their inventory and an IOU from the franchise owner. We’ve christened him “The Extreme Couponer”, much to his chagrin. (I would tack on “from hell” if it wasn’t so redundant.)
Based on the fact that I chose to share this dating milestone with a panel of strangers on the internet, you can gather that Jonah and I are, admittedly, in a little over our heads with the whole “dating” thing. All of our talks about physical boundaries resemble a speed race, the first person to bring the conversation to a close becoming the undisputed winner.
But here’s the thing: as a Christian, I have decided not to have sex before I get married. That is, if I get married. (That includes all sorts of genital-to-anything contact.) But that is not the problem. The problem is me, not wanting to seem cold or uptight, and he, just being a teenage boy with urges and inclinations and muscle spasms, both of us existing in a world where chastity is viewed as prudish and traditional and ironically anti-feminist.
The hickey scared me, not because it meant that we had gone too far, but because I have never wanted to be in a relationship that involves any sort of deception, makeup tricks or otherwise. Hiding aspects of a casual dating relationship from other people seems to me to be the start of an unhealthy trend, full of control and sneakiness and jealously; one where the physical side of the relationship becomes the focus.
After the neck-blemishing incident, we both realized that we cannot continue to think of “hanging out alone in a room” as a date, and using words like ***sheepishly gestures to lower torso*** in terms of outlining physical boundaries, all the while expecting to have a satisfying non-sexual relationship. I realized that Jonah and I have, albeit unwittingly, set up our relationship to make premarital sex easy and inevitable by blindly following the “norms” of dating in society, expressed in pop culture and reflected by the other couples at our school.
What are we thinking? Truly, we cannot expect to follow the same recipe as everyone else and end up baking a different muffin. (I admit that I, too, immediately imagined these metaphorical celibate pastries to be bran. But hey! Fibre!) If we want to stay pure in our sexual relationship, then sometimes we’re going to have to be crazy oddballs to the rest of the world. And that’s okay! I guess we’ll just have to decide what works for us, whether it’s what people expect or not. I’ve decided that I don’t care what anyone thinks!
But as soon as I start wearing tin foil to school, take me out behind the gym and shoot.